Quick Thoughts on a few Films

The Notebook

I always remember when I was a "simp", and got dragged to see the movie "The Notebook", as I sat in the theater eating my popcorn I looked over and my girl at the time was crying.

What's wrong I said?     Don't you see it's so romantic, it's true love.   HAHA, let's dig deep into this "true love" that this filth the notebook portrayed.

The odds of a 16 and 17 year old falling in deep love after a summer fling is Absurd. So are we really supposed to believe a chick who was just dating Ryan Gosling did not even go beyond the honeymoon
stage is going to run back to him ten years later when she is engaged to a rich man? yeah right.

Anyone notice how her fiance is also portrayed as a bad man? the villian?  like he was standing in the way of a beautiful love story.
This man wasted years of his life on this chick, built up her self esteem, loved her with all of his heart, and even allowed her to go back to her hometown and see her ex, only to get cheated on and portrayed as the guy standing
in the way of her following her heart.

Women love that kissing scene "I waited for you for seven years, now it's to late"  aka I waited for you now I'm engaged its to late. 
Not even five seconds cheating on her faithful fiance, I'm sure not one female watching that scene was thinking at this time like wow how could she, nah they were crying omg so romantic.
Well not me I was there shaking my head like what an abomination.

And then after this Allie dumps her fiance and runs to Noah, they get married and have kids, and then we are supposed to feel sorry when she is reaping what she sowed as she's dying of alzheimer's?

 

Titanic

Titanic is another film that causes me to shake my head.  Isn't it funny how the faithful man was painted as such a horrible creature, just because he did not want to
share his woman? He spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on this cruise for his soon to be wife and her mom, only she is out canoodling and cavorting with some poor little kid?

Which man would not be mad? You pay all that money for that trip and are painted in a crude way, while she dances and prances with some pauper. And to even make this guy look more evil,
they portray him going on a lifeboat, like oh no. A young rich man wants to live how dare he, how dare he not float in the freezing water like all the "good men". And then Rose hides from him, are we really that stupid,
we all know women in that time for the most part did not work or were highly educated, so how is Rose going to provide for herself now?

Rose gets married, has kids, yet in her last days she still thinks back like 80 years ago about some boy who wined and dined her for a few days?  Not her loving husband of decades?

Get married brehs!!!!!

Bride Wars

Ah another one of those films.  Here's another horrible man, a guy who stood beside and dated this chick for TEN YEARS. And what does he get out of this?
Dumped at the altar infront of his friends and family, because she doesn't want it anymore. she wants her space. And then a few minutes later, the same chick
who wasn't sure what she wanted, the same woman who needed space that same.......dancing with another man.

Get married brehs!

Remembering J

It's funny how short life is, but when you are young healthy you don't think about it at all.  You think nothing of planning for the future, saying I'll do it tomorrow when you are not even guaranteed the end of today. This past week I witnessed someone dying right in front of me and
it's a feeling I can't shake nor will I ever forget.

It was a typical Sunday like many others, got dressed and headed out to church.  The familiar faces were there, I was sort of in a cranky mood and just sat off to the side.

Praise and worship was good like always lifting spirits, people were singing, dancing and worshipping.  Every week during meet and greet I would always say Hi to this little old lady,
this week I was so cranky I excused myself to the washroom when it took place.  Anyways this little old lady (lol) started attending the church I go to about 4 months ago.

It was shocking to me because she was a Jewish Christian one of the few I have come across. Never once did this lady get angry, upset, she was always happy, always smiling
with a big heart for others. My nieces loved her and she would always hug them, run after them and was diligent in all matters.

After praise and worship, the few people that attended that Sunday went back to their seats. Tithes and offering were taken up, and after that the message of the day was started to be spoken.
Sadly I was on my phone texting away, not really paying attention.  I took a seat somewhat in the back from everyone, still cranky and couldn't wait till church was over. Suddenly I heard a scream and "Open your eyes".

I looked up and everyone was rushing to the front.  My heart was beating fast as a good portion of my family attends this church, and I was scared something happened to them.

 As I reached the front I saw J slumped to the side, skin turning blue. Everyone around me seemed to be calling 911, I was in a daze shocked.  It took the ambulance like 7 minutes to arrive but it felt like hours, as I just stood there
watching CPR performed on J.

They took her away to the hospital, and we all waited hoping for some good news.  A few members of the church followed the ambulance to the hospital and a hour later they returned letting us know that J has passed away.

Sadness overcame me right away, tears were flowing down the faces of everyone. I hate hugging, but at that moment I hugged everyone I came across. I never cry but tears were flowing down my face at that moment.

To literally see someone talking one minute and then dead the next, happy and smiling one minute and then lifeless the next.  That night I could not sleep at all, the scene was playing in my mind over and over and over again.

Here was a woman full of love, who would never harm a fly, who would give her last dollar to someone in need...... dead. And here I was someone that day filled with malice, crankiness, gluttony yet I was alive and breathing.

J was literally a angel and she touched everyone she came across in a great way, I only had the privilege of knowing J for 4 months, but it was a great honour. I will never forget her smile, her encouraging words, and that her last moments on earth was spent in church surrounded by people she called friends.

I love you J!!

 

Let it out brehs :to:

I've been in therapy the past two weeks, and just letting out all the anger, pain, sadness has been great.

The peace, the calm, no longer holding onto to past memories that were clinging me down.

Ever since my car accident in January where I was a few seconds away from drowning and losing my life, I have made tremendous changes. I'm almost there at the place I want to be.

How to answer when she brings up the sob Stories

As men we have all been there.......on a date and then the exes are brought up. "All my exes have cheated one", "I've been so hurt so bad in the past", "Men have just used and treated me bad", "my ex was such a ass hole". And deep down inside you think how could a man treat this beautiful specimen so horrible, as you may utter such simp phrases such as I would never do that as your fist clenches in anger at how men could be so bastardly.


Well let's dig deeper into these phrases why not? and how to answer them.

"All my exes have cheated one"

A) Ah the old golden one,  this is when you should ask  and did you dump him?  More than not they took him back time after time. Once you hear that, she is not girlfriend material. A woman who takes back is a cheater has low self esteem and poor judgment.

B)  If all her exes have cheated on her, then that is a whole bunch of men who view her as a person who is not worthy of commitment.

C) If all her exes have cheated on her, then she keeps picking the same type of men over and over. And if you are a man of value, a man with traits of loyalty and faithfulness then this will not last.

"I've been so hurt so bad in the past"

Really? And who hasn't?  I've been cheated on twice, manipulated, bank accounts drained, mocked, had to face the embarrassment of cancelling a 200 party wedding 6 months before the date, but you don't see me bringing this up right.   This same women spewing how she has been hurt so bad in the past has carved up more men than a cannibal.  Last date I went on and a chick brought this up, I came right back with the "so how many men have you hurt so bad in the past"  

"Men have just used and treated me bad"

This is when you can bring up the    Gasp, How about choosing better men?   

If you dig deeper you will soon realize the men that just used her and treated so bad, are the men she opened her legs for on the first night, the men who anyone can tell are players, the men she meets at bars and clubs, the men with a bunch of baby mommas, but because there 6 feet tall, brolic, and drive a sporty couple  she keeps falling and falling for it.

"my ex was such a ass hole"

This is one of my favourites. He was such a asshole but you stayed with him for months even years, he was such a asshole but you loved him, had sex with him, swallowed his cum.

TL;DR  DATE BETTER MEN WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!

How to get over your ex

What do I know about getting over someone you scoff?
Well take it from someone who was less than 6 months away from marriage, before he had to end a relationship. Take it from a man who wallowed in grief and depression for many years.
Take it from a man who had to witness 1 of the 2 women he ever loved, send him a wedding invitation in the mail to mock him some more.
So I know a thing or two about getting over a ex and I'll share them with you.

1. Say Nothing or be very concise.

A) If a chick dumps you through text message say nothing.B) If it's over the phone just say ok and I gotta go.c) if its face to face  stay calm and slowly make your exit.

Why?  Keep your emotions in check, the less you say the less of anything you say or do that you will regret later will happen.
Keeping your dignity is one of the biggest and best things you can do. Years later I still kick myself over writing a letter and sending it to a girl I was dating who dumped me. It will also make her ponder why isn't he crying, screaming, begging, getting angry, asking why etc.

2. Don't contact her ever again.

Everyone knows of the no contact rule and trust me it works, by not contacting her, fishing on facebook, twitter, instagram etc. for info. She will slowly but surely get smaller and smaller in your mind.  I've been there a ex on my mind it seems 24/7, first thing when I wake up in the morning and the last thing at night. But by instilling No Contact she slowly started to disappear as every day went on. 

3. Don't be friends with the ex

Exes only want to be friends to relieve their guilt, keep you as a backup in case the new dude doesn't work out and/or string you along to mess with your emotions. I was friends with an ex once and it set me back like almost 5 years of my life because emotions I thought were dead kept reappearing, just dead it cut the cord go your separate ways.

4. Go hardcore and disappear 

 I'm the type of person if the relationship was somewhat substantial to change my number so my heart ain't racing every time I get a text, or a phone call. To  change my email, disable any social networking until I'm healed. From my personal experience this is the quickest and best way,  there is zero chance if you take these steps of her contacting you which kills all the disgusting disease known as hope.  I remember after a breakup I would constantly check my phone I did not want my ex to contact to me but a tiny part I guess would not have minded the ego boost if she cracked and text me or called. When I finally changed my number the release I felt was overwhelming.    As for social networking, I remember I changed my number but a ex hit me up through facebook writing me a message begging for another chance.

5.Remove any pictures 

Yep remove all pictures of you two you may have hanging around, nothing is worse than seeing a picture of you and your ex smiling by your bedside etc.  Again if you can go hardcore, throw all those pictures in the trash, cut the cord now. This goes as well for deleting all pictures of your ex on your computer, yes even the nudes ones and any sex videos you made, now you can always put them on a usb and store it if you must, but why look at the past?

6.  Let your emotions out.

As men we keep stuff inside, but trust me nothing is better than just venting whether it's writing on a piece of paper how you feel, talking to someone who has your back, even going to therapy. Let all that hate, angry, sadness, pain out.  Make sure not to her though, NEVER LET YOUR EX KNOW YOUR EMOTIONS.

7. Travel

Travelling saved me when I was at my lowest point, sulking locked up in my room.  A week away did wonders, being surrounded by beautiful women by the beach without any worries in the world opens your eyes and realize you'll be OK. That it's a big world out there with billions of women and the release you feel from just relaxing enjoying life is great.

8. Realize your ex isn't all that

As a man who has dated models, and beautiful women of different ethnicities sometimes the "damn will I ever get another broad that beautiful again " thoughts hit. Realize you did it once and you can do it again, hell there are hundreds of millions of women out there who look better than your ex if all you care about is looks, and there are tons of other women out there who will be much more compatible, so don't stress it at all. I remember after  I broke up with my ex fiance I was like damn, she was so beautiful, she never wore makeup, barely dressed up but wherever she would go jaws would just drop would I ever get that again.  I mean I wasn't even thinking of how much of a leech, conniving, horrible person my ex was to me just that she was the most beautiful girl in the world (in my eyes), and I'll never be that "lucky again".  It's amazing how your ex could be straight horrible, offering nothing, in your mind you wished many times you could just go your separate ways. But once you are broken up your mind plays tricks on you and suddenly she is a 10/10. Realize your ex ain't that special, your mind is a powerful tool that is playing tricks on you.

9. Hit up relationship forums and read stories worse than yours!! 

Wow you sick bastard!!,  Yup,   you think you got it bad because your ex dumped you, or you found out your ex cheated, or you dumped her and your struggling why did I do that?  Just hit up any relationship forum and read stories of 20 year marriages broken up, or 7 year relationships ended. Realize hey there are others going through this, my situation is not that special, I will get over this. And at least I wasn't married with 2 kids and now paying alimony and child support.

10. Learn from your Mistakes

Learning from your mistakes is key, maybe you didn't follow your gut. I remember in two relationships in my life, I had this feeling and ran into red flags early on when I should have walked away, but the sex was good, they were hot , I didn't want to hurt their feelings so I said screwed it, fell for them and then ended up getting burnt in the end.This taught me in future relationships when I see red flags, or get a feeling to start my engine and get out of there. Remember in all your past relationships the common denominator is YOU!!!

Summing it up BREHS!!!

It's up to you, how long you want to live and battle with the pain. Sad thing is most exes only want you back when you finally reach the point of no longer caring or wanting them back. I say

Only a Few People Truly Care about You

I remember being my young self, popularity at a all time high. People hitting me up constantly, wanting to hang out and spend time with me.
Calling me friend, compadre, brother, talking how they have my back. Years later I look back and ponder where are these folks now? Where are the folks who said
they would have my back through thick and thin? Where are the females who said they loved me and couldn't live without me?  They are out there and could care one iota about you.

The thing many people fail to realize is that most people don't have your back, most people would love to see you fail. Most people will ride for you when the money is coming in, your car is running, your life is going great, but once the struggles pop up they are gone.  It's amazing that the few people that actually do care for you, that you probably won't recognize it and treat them like garbage.

I've been guilty of this as a young man who did not know the ways. 

A Girl Named M

Years ago when I was young, there was this girl M.  M was not the most attractive girl out there, but M had a heart of gold. M would call me and text me every day, M would ask how I'm doing, M would cook me little treats and M would genuinely take interest in me and the goals I wanted to accomplish in life.

M was a singer and would invite me out to watch her sing at her youth group, M would invite me out to family gatherings. If I needed a kidney M would have probably given it to me, M was there for me in my worst days and in my best days, however I treated M like garbage.

I took advantage of M's kindness.  I started dating someone and even then I knew it hurt M, but she was still super nice to me. It wasn't until the girl I was dating, gave me a ultimatum of her or M. I was such a simp and addicted to beauty that I chose her and cut off M. 

It's been about 9 years since I've talked to or seen M, however I still remember the kindness and the heart of Gold. 

It's kind of amazing/sad that all the qualities now that I would want in a wife if I were to ever get married brehs M had. Even almost a decade later, all the women I have canoodled and cavorted with there is only one woman I could truly say cared for me and that was M.  

Years ago I found M on facebook, she's married now with a few kids and living in a south american country making a difference in people's lives.   

Don't be guilty of doing this, remember when you down and out the few people who were actually there. The few people who encouraged you, helped you out, lent a ear, even if you never showed appreciation they still stucked by you.

Don't Cheat Brehs

I have experienced the high and lows when it comes to dealing with women.

One of the lowest of the low feelings that can break any man is being cheated on. I've been cheated on twice in my lifetime (that I know off), and although it was a horrible experience, it taught me valuable lessons in life that I will touch on later in this post.

Well everyone has misconceptions about cheating, it does not matter how great you are as a person, how great you treated your partner, how much money you have, the car you drive it can happen to you.

The First Time

The first time I was cheated on I was young and dumb. At that age I thought I knew everything, I was innocent and full of trust and never in my wildest dreams could I think of myself ever been played like those
poor saps you see.

The first time I never thought about it all, when she finally told me that she did I couldn't believe it. I went from anger to sadness to having this pit in my belly. I could not eat, there was not one thing I wanted to do,
my only haven was when I fell asleep as my mind wasn't clouded with painful thoughts then. You think about what you did, could I have done this better or that better when in reality nothing would have changed the outcome.
You think about all the signs you may have missed, how you were a idiot for getting played and start blaming yourself even though you did nothing wrong.  Finally with time you get over it but do you really? more on this later.

The Second Time.

The second time I was cheated on was thankfully not worse than the first.  It still hurt, I still got that bottomless gut feeling, still were clouded with thoughts of pain, but I found out on my own this time.
I had my doubts as she was always talking about her ex and I was like oh really, so I had a logger on my pc and when she used it I got access to her email and fb. And what did I see?  A hidden second fb, messages to her ex, emails to her ex.
The same ex who was so "horrible", that she "hated", yup I was angry in a fit of rage. Pain, angry, and sadness is a horrible mix but thanks to my first experience I was able to exit this situation stronger than I have ever been.

Did being cheated on change me?

Wholeheartedly, you realize you can trust no one. Both women who cheated on me told me they loved me, that they would never cheat, that cheaters disgust them. That they were cheated on in the past and it hurt them so much.  And yet these women
knowing the pain they went to decided to selfishly cheat on me and inflict that hurt and pain on me all for their greed. As a person I can truthfully stand up and say I will never cheat, I have morals and will always remain faithful.

So are you saying don't trust any women?

Pretty much

But every relationship is built on trust, without you have nothing?

There is a quote "trust but verify", and I take it like this, you trust only as much as you can verify, whether it's with a key logger, other forms of snooping etc., I've had exes tell me straight to my face how they love me and care for me and can't wait to get married etc., while 5 minutes before hand they are emailing their ex bf how much they miss him and how great last night was.

So it's better to remain single, don't become emotionally invested and casually date?

Yup pretty much

I think your jaded and bitter, you have to let go of the pain

haha, not jaded or bitter nor am I experiencing pain, the truth upsets those locked into the matrix.


In this day and age with a picture thrown on  a website and a click of a mouse, a women can find someone richer than you, that looks better than you, that says sweeter things than you like that, if you want to trust then go right ahead, and while your at it.... get married brehs